Teacher Of Sacrifice
by AbraFilo
Summary: A look at the week that changed Ben's life and ultimatly lead to him becoming who we see in the tv series.
1. Music And Misfortune

Disclaimer: Lost and all of its characters do not belong to me, the events that take place are purely fictional and are not to be taken into the timeline of the actual tv series.

Ben had just left his house a little over an hour early for school which was only a ten minute walk from his house. His father had woken him up from singing as loud and slurred as he possibly could, drunk out of his mind no doubt. He hadn't even tried to fall back to sleep and just proceeded to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast and leave. On his way out Ben had gone so far as to give his father the most highly disgusted look he could manage. Not that he would even remember later, hell he might even drown on his own drool before Ben came home from school. He turned the corner where the perfect line of identicale sickeningly bright houses came to an end._'A prize inside'_ he thought _'a prize inside, each a different kind'._ It was a randomly weird thought but he supposed it made sense in the way that all the houses were different on the inside at least._'Yeah, yours especially'_ Ben forced that train of thought out before it could settle. He finally looked up from his feet which he just now noticed he had been dragging all the way here and noticed he had also just reached the school. Looking up he saw a group of all the girls from his class staring down at him from the steps, their looks were blank and Ben could feel a nervous smile creeping up his face. Most of the girls began giggling seeing this and when Ben felt himself blushing **all **the girls laughed, he was a very shy boy, especially for a boy who was barely fifteen.

One of the girls parted through the crowd and stepped down to stand level with him, though even on the same level she had at least three inches on him. Ben thought she had the most beautiful blonde hair and her vibrant green eyes really showed, her eyes were like his."I didn't know you were going to join the music class Ben" she said with her honeyed voice. He often wondered if his mother looked like Annie when she was younger, not that he would ever know, the only picture he had of his mother was where she and his father were sitting happily together. Ben had never seen his father look so happy and secretly, even to himself, knew that he never would and it tore him apart inside."Ben" Annie asked again gently, he snapped out of his gaze and thought for a moment, Ben honestly hadn't had a clue about the band joining this morning nor was he interested but in front of a crowd he hated to look like a fool.

"Yeah, It just didn't seem like a big thing to talk about" Ben answered modestly.

"Ooohhh, looks like communication issues already" came a voice from the crowd. Sure enough it was Troy and right on queue to ruin the rest of his morning._'Well we all know what your doing here you, warped pervert'_ Ben thought with almost a sarcastic laughing tone ringing through his head. Troy was a tall boy with brown hair in the cheapest cut money could buy and he had black eyes to accent it. He wasn't really what one would call a bully but an A class nuisance. Troy seemed to have only two purposes in life, flirt with every girl and annoy every other male in sight. He stepped down and towered over Ben, head and shoulders above him then seemed to size him up. Troy then reached down and slowly plucked the glasses from his face. Ben didn't try to stop him or snatch them back, he knew that if it got to that point he would only succed in amuesing that jerk or worse, break his glasses and have to wait a month to replace them. Troy seemed a little dissapointed in this but wasn't about to give up yet.

"Man Linus, you must be blind to have glasses this thick". Troy said smearing them by measuring the width using his finger and thumb. In truth they were only reading glasses and Ben only wore them when he was outside or reading, of course. Ben looked to the crowd of girls still standing on the steps and could see that all of them were going to stay there and watch this to the end, he could almost hear the bleating.

"Troy quite acting like a four year old and give him back his glasses, they're expensive to replace". Annie said her tone no longer honeyed but like the stillness before tide.

"Oh you'd know eh" Troy asked with a devilish grin "so intimate you already know the price of his glasses, tell me does he know your bra size"

In the moment he had lowered his hands and was distracted Ben grabbed his glasses back out of the taller boys losened grip. Troy seemed dumbfounded at first and then angry, despite all this Ben couldn't help but to put in his two cents right before the school doors opened."Piss off, Troy" then they were all ushered into the new music room that they had only built up in the last month. It wasn't a very impressive room at all, it still had to be painted and carpeted and it was quite crammed, it was almost like they only expected two or three people to show an interest. They all moved in and took their seats, Ben moved as close to the back as possible and continued wiping his glasses clean with the tip of his sleeve. Troy had really pressed hard and Ben continued wiping his glasses while everyone else was assigned an instrument. Some time later Ben looked up to the sound of giggling and realised that the music teacher had been hovering over him and asked a question while he had been cleaning his glasses."Maybe you need hearing aids too Linus" Troy called out and the room burst into laughter again. The teacher turned to address Troy fully and Ben replaced the glasses on his nose."Troy I'm not going to put up with your immature behavior for a whole semester this class is a privilege not mandatory consider today your first grade, fail and your out, understood?"

"Sir, yes sir" Troy answered with a complimentary salute, the smile never leaving his face.

The music teacher looked disgusted but turned too give his attention to Ben once more."So, Ben did you have an instrument in mind that you would like to play" he asked."I don't really care" Ben answered honestly, in fact during the time he was wiping his lense clean he had been thinking of when and how to drop out of this _'If there is an instrument that keeps Troy ten feet away at all times I'll take that' _Ben thought hearing the laughter again. The teacher seemed to be considering something then finally spoke."Ben, would you be interested in trying out the piano?" he asked "I'm willing to give everyone a chance at it but only five are going to be the pianists and it will rotate since we don't have enough instuments for everyone as it is" he added so this wouldn't start an arguement.

"Well I suppose" Ben answered quietly.

"Hey I wanna try the piano" Troy whined from across the room.

"You will get a turn" The teacher promised.

"Hey teach, I need to use the washroom" Troy said.

"Can it not wait" the teacher asked through barred teeth.

"Sure, but I pitty the guy who will have to hose down this seat tonight" Troy answered smugly

The teacher seemed to think over the options for a few seconds then said "go then" and dismissivaly pointed to the door. Troy slouched out and Ben was happy to see him leave _'with that kind of posture he's going to look like a hairless gorilla when hes older'_ the thought almost brightened his day, almost. Ben followed the music teacher over to the piano and took a seat on the wide wooden stool. It felt so strange to sit down with a wood structure in front of him but to have nothing on it except for little strips of ivory. Ben knew how to read the notes off by heart because of a book one of his teachers had given him in fourth grade for reading over one hundred books when the rest of his class had struggled with twenty five. Regardless of knowing the notes Ben had never actually practiced on a piano or even seen one. In all brutal honesty his father tried to spend as much time away from him as possible and never spent his mony on any luxuries whatsoever with the exception of beer. So as a result Ben didn't even know what a computer was until he turned nine and was shown one by his fourth grade teacher. He was so humiliated when his teacher asked who hadn't used a computer and he was the one and only. Then to add insult to injury his father never signed the permission form, that was one of many things he missed out on in his short life.

The teacher rearranged Ben to sit with the right posture quickly and asked if he knew where to put his feet, Ben nodded, the book had taught him that too. The teacher then turned around to address the entire class and told them to just practice getting a sound from their instuments, there was eye rolling all around. It stopped in a few moments when they all tried and there wasn't a sound in the room unless spit and gasping counted."Not so easy is it?" the teacher asked with a smirk "Ben feel free to experiment with the keys, nothing compares to hands on experience". Ben always did believe that popular saying and just tested out the keys at first. When the rest of the class started getting the hang of how to use their instruments he continued to play a few simple tunes he had learned from the book. After about fifteen minutes of headsplitting noise the teacher (Ben wished he'd at least give them a name to call him by) called for everyone to stop for a moment.

"The process you have made in the last twenty minutes is excellent and now I would like to first get down some base rules and then hand out instruction booklets". He talked for ten minutes on the importance of keeping the intruments clean, not dropping them and for those who had reeds not to lose them. He went on for another ten minutes about gum and how very thoroughly it would destroy the instruments when he caught someone in front chewing it. The teacher finally got around to the point of handing out instruction books to everyone and called Ben up first. Ben walked up and received his book casually while the teacher called for the people with Flutes to come up. He was just reading the front page when he sat down and felt something filled with ice liquid burst under him. The room went silent except some high pitched insane laughter that Ben could recognize as Troy. The teacher screamed for Troy to get out and went out the door after him to tell him off. Ben in the meantime got uncomfortably off the stool and slunk to the corner of the room and sunk down on the hard floor with teeth chattering and limbs shaking. For the most part the room stayed still except he noticed that Annie and a few friends had gotten up and were collecting papertowels. They each got a handful and came over to Ben who was, at the moment, very confused.

"Ben, come on" Annie said raising him to his feet by the upper arm and gently guided him to the door while one of her friends opened it for them. They walked into the hallway and immediatly heard a clear difference of just how loud the teacher was screaming at Troy. Ben would have loved to stay and hear it but Annie gently guided him the other way towards the boys washroom. She opened the door for him, which wasn't really necessary but still a nice gesture, she then handed him the bundle of paper towels and he quickly waddled in. Ben cleaned up as best he could and even wrung out his pants over the toilet but they remained ice cold and damp, he finally gave up and shivered while slipping them back on. He didn't know what to do once he got back out of the washroom though _'No way are you going back in there looking like you should be in diapers'_. Just as Ben was about to disappear back into the washroom and think it out he heard the teacher's footsteps and turned his head to see if he was headed in his direction and sure enough he was.

"Ben we need to get you to the office, they're should be a change of pants there for you" The teacher said quitely so the rest of the class couldn't hear.

"Okay" Ben answered in a voice just as quiet. They walked through the empty school in complete silence except the echoeing footsteps that surrounded them. Whenever Ben walked through an empty hall he liked to imagine the groups of people who had walked through these very same halls before him. He liked to imagine that he was stepping on ground that famous people had stepped on, was taught where they were, grew up where they did, earned honour role like others before him. Then he remembered. _'This is a Dharma school, no one has ever been here except for us now, no one worth remembering has ever even heard of this place, there is no history in this place and perhaps never will be_._'_ When they reached the office the teacher fiddled with the lock for five minutes at the very least before the door opened, it wasn't difficult to see that he was a new addition to the staff. When the door finally did open the teacher stepped in ahead of Ben and quickly led him to the sick room. Ben followed him hastily, he was uncomfortable no matter what but at least standing still he wasn't increasing his discomfort. He watched as the new teacher pulled the drawer open and saw that it was empty, _'damnit, guess what happens now'_.

"Ben I think if you run that you will make it to your house before everyone arrives" the teacher said standing again with a trace of guilt in his voice, probably for not having any other way for him to get out of this embarassing situation. Ben nodded and was about to head out the door when the teacher stopped him."Here" he said handing Ben a note "It's a sick note, give it to your parents and you can stay home for the day, I wouldn't imagine that you'd like coming back after that... incident"._'He will know soon enough'_ Ben heard but he still nodded and smiled a little then walked to the door but once outside he took off in the direction of home as fast as he could. He was a very fast runner and made it home in no time at all, literally in only a little over two minutes. He turned and saw that his father had unfortunatly sobered up a little and wasn't out cold like he had hoped.

"Why the hell arn't you at school" his father asked then looked close and saw the stain."You better not have pissed yourself, if you fuc-"

"A kid put a water balloon on my seat" Ben cut in before his dad spun himself into one of his ridiculous, childish rages. His father remained quiet for a moment then looked at the note.

"What's that" he asked impatiently. Ben merely handed it to him and watched as his eyes scanned over it and his face hardened, he was not pleased.

"Fine but your not goofing around go to your room and study or something" his father said as he crumpled up the note, shot it at the garbage and missed. Ben didn't see if he picked it up or not, though he did hear the unmistakeble sound of his father snapping open another can of beer. Obviously a hangover wasn't satisfying enough for him. Ben walked into his room and happily changed into dry, warm clothing then picked Eight out of her cage and began stroking the albino rabbit softly behind her ears."I wish you were dead" he said seeing his fathers face in his head and hearing his mocking, miserable voice _'but i'd never be so lucky'_ he thought. A bitter knowing smile crept across his normally passive face, it may not be tomorrow or soon, but the old drunk had to die sometime and sooner was always better.

* * *

**Authors Note: This story is going to be edited in the next few days so that the grammer and spelling are correct. **

**ps. This story has potential to become a trilogy, it really depends on the reviews though and what everyone wants.**


	2. The Rabbit And Wizard

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any of it's characters (The characters of Proffesor Marvel and Troy are OCC and never existed) These events never took place and are not to be confused with the Lost timeline.

It had been a succesful three days of avoiding Annie and Troy after the 'incident', he just really wanted to avoid people for a while and let the laughing die down a while so he kept to himself and eventually they would forget. Ben was pleased with his progress so far until he was walking down the dirt path home and saw her waiting on the porch of his house. He would have ran to the nearest shade or concealed area but Annie had already seen him and had already started running to meet him and they were fact to face before Ben could think of a reason to politely brush her off. As she ran Ben couldn't help but notice that she was wearing a red flowery skirt and a well matching dark red blouse to match. When she reached him Ben was blushing horribly and kept his eyes on the ground to not give away that he had been looking at her dress. It would have greatly embarassed him if she had noticed, she might have thought he was no better than Troy.

"Ben you know that Proffesor Marvel is still waiting for you to come back to talk about the permission form for using the instruments, he wants you as the lead pianist" Annie said with great excitement in her voice, she was genuinely happy for him.

"Really" Ben asked forgetting his red face and looking up to meet Annie's eyes with his own.

"Yes" she answered excitedly "we may even get to travel off the island to do some performances". That thought really appealed to him, the farther away he was from the island the farther he was from his dad _'but will Jacob be happy about this'_. His heart felt like it had just deflated and sunk into his stomach and Ben felt another opportunity ripped from him.

"Here" Annie said reaching into her backpack and pulling out a bottle of water "You look really flushed". Ben accepted grateful that she didn't realise he had been blushing and not running or that she was polite enough to offer him an excuse. He drank a little bit then wiped the rim off with his palm before handing it back to her. Annie mearly screwed the lid back on and replaced it inside her backpack without even a seconds hesitation.

"This is your permission form you need it signed and handed in for practice before lunch tomorrow afternoon" She leaned in closer then added "I'm not the type to encourage this but forge your dads signature, you will be missing out on some great opportunitys if you don't". Then she was walking away back down the path to her house, or one of her friends. Ben knew where she lived but most of her friends lived that way too. She turned and waved to him before disappearing around the corner in an almost dancing fashion. Ben smiled and waved about ten seconds too late for her to catch it. There was something left unsaid but Ben just didn't know what it was, Ben had that feeling everytime he watched her walk away. He eventually continued to his house and in the little time it took him to walk past the remaining two houses, walk down the paved path, unlock the door and step in he had decided. Inside his father was no where to be seen _'Probably cleaning washrooms or something'_ The voice commented in disgust. Ben didn't hide it, he hated the job his father had but what he hated more was the fact that he hadn't crawled out of that filth hole job yet, and after what? five years. Anyone could do better than that the only reason they would remain janitors was if they enjoyed the job which his father certainly did not _'Yes, if only he would lay off the beer, now about that signature... he isn't home you know'_. Ben took quick advantage of that and started to head into his fathers bedroom and was deciding on wether to look in his dresser or pant pockets when he heard something at the backdoor. He really didn't want to answer it but knew he had to. Ben moaned in agitation and stuffed the permission form in his backpack before answering the back door.

As expected nothing was there but a white rabbit staring up at him, it looked very much like his own rabbit Eight which he should have fed by now. The rabbit took off and Ben quickly followed afraid that if he allowed it out of his sight he'd never find it again, which had happened more than once. On those occasions he didn't find Jacob's cabin and Jacob was very upset when that happened, luckily it didn't happen that often. Ben followed the rabbit as closely as he could manage without treading over it. In time the rabbit jumped down a whole and with Ben watching only the rabbit he tripped and went flying head over heals. He flipped maybe three times and finally landed sitting up like a marieonette doll. Ben instinctivly reached up and felt around for his glasses, they may have only been reading glasses but they were expensive. The expensive glasses were no longer on his nose so Ben scanned the area quickly before standing to make sure they weren't where he would be stepping. The glasses were nowhere around him so he proceded to stand when he heard a gun cocking."It's me" Ben said quickly and raised his hands, he had no idea that the hostiles would be so close to the Barracks.

"Ben?" he heard a voice ask.

"Of course it's Ben, who else would be saying 'it's me'?" Richard answered in a slightly annoyed voice.

"Oh right" Tom replied back laughing a little at the obvious answer. They all stepped out of hiding to greet Ben, there were only five of them, the hostiles never traveled in big groups. The only time they were in a big group was when they were raiding, infiltrating or attacking the Barracks. It was a well placed safety measure, they had told Ben many times of the horrible things Dharma did to the people who were caught and the less the better in this case. The five people three men two women were all muddy and very well armed with knives and at least one gun each. Ben only really knew two of them which were Tom and Richard the only other person he knew well was Tina who had been shot dead by some security guards in Dharma. He never saw it or heard of it around the Barracks, they kept things quiet, but Tom had told him a month later over some smores about the sad demise of Tina.

"So what brings you out here" Richard asked holding a rather large gun over his shoulder. Ben thought it was a shot gun but wasn't sure.

"Jacob wanted to see me but I lost my escort" he admitted.

"And your glasses" Richard answered and to Ben's suprise held them out for him. They had a crack in the left lense, it was only a hairline crack but it would still make the lense useless, any crack did that no matter how small. Ben sighed and accepted them from Richards dirty palm to place them in his school bag with his permission form.

"Yeah, thanks" he said flatly, this hadn't been a good day and just seemed to keep getting worse.

"You know Ben it isn't entirely hopelsess, Jacob will send another sign if you stick around long enough" Richard said after an awkward silence.

"I don't know if I can wait" Ben answered just remembering that his father could arrive home at any minute or even already be home. He was about to just say goodbye and head home when Tom stopped him, it seemed like everyone had to get in their two cents in the last few days.

"If he's already home your going to be in trouble regardless of how fast he sees you crashing through the door, am I right?" Tom asked.

Ben paused and thought it over and realised Tom was right _'yeah but he might be even more angry if you come home after supper, then your grounded'_."I'm already grounded you dumb shit" Ben muttered very angrily under his breath, Ben wasn't one to normally curse but what he was grounded for was ridiculous. He was only grounded because he dropped one of his fathers beer cans and it exploded and the iceing on that cake was that his father had told him to get him the beer while he was in the middle of finishing his homework._'No good deed goes unpunished'_ The laughter rung through his head again and finally echoed itself out. Ben decided that his situation at home was already in the dumps so he'd stay, Ben turned to tell them that when he stopped to catch sight of the rabbit that had been in his perifferal vision for some time.

"See you later" he called back and chased down the rabbit, he didn't like leaving the hostiles so shortly after they met up because he generally helped many of their infiltration plans in some ways. He hadn't really heard much or helped much in over four months now and was beginning to feel like a freeloader. Regardless of this Jacob came before grand plots to drive Dharma out and it was easier to the rabbit this time it was going much slower, Jacob's way of saying he wasn't pleased at the waste of time this was causing. This rabbit was easier to keep up with but was a pain at the same time as a result of going much slower he had almost tripped over it inumerable times. Then he finally did trip over it and lay in a heap gasping for air._'You blew it this time, he isn't sending another rabbit and your dad is going to be pissed'._"Shut up!" Ben screamed bolting up and then he saw it, the cabin, it was there towering over him. It always seemed to be there after Ben had closed his eyes for a reasonable period of time almost as if he had to wish it there _'Maybe that's the trick'_ the voice actually sounded srious for once. Ben got to his feet ignoring it for a change and realised that he didn't remember how to get here, he never did, it was obviously another precaution Jacob took, even from him. Ben stepped on the dull stone path to the house which he had no recollection of, come to think of it he was positive that a lot of the houses features had altered greatly since his last visit. Nevertheless he quickly ran up to the front door and pushed it open, Jacob could see the front lawn through the window. In his haste Ben almost forgot the lantern but instead grabbed it on his way in, shut the door then clicked it on.

"Congratulations, you made it" Jacob said in a tone that made Ben's skin crawl, he outright shivered when he heard the sarcastic clapping.

"I'm sorry" Ben said.

"It's okay" the figure said standing up and approaching him "After all it's better late than never" he added with meaning.

"Yeah" Ben answered, gripping the doorknob, Ben didn't know what Jacob was exactly because the shadows seemed to follow him no matter where he was in a room. That very tribute may have been the root cause of the fleeing idea Ben had whenever Jacob got to close but it didn't really matter, and what if it wasn't just the shadows? Jacob craned his shadowed head and saw that Ben had his fingers wrapped around the doorknob and laughed.

"How far do you think you could get Ben" the thing asked. When Ben didn't reply it continued, "If I so willed it I could have you wander those woods forever Benjamin".

"Don't call me that" Ben said fiercley forgetting his fear.

the figure stayed quiet for a moment and Ben worried he might be tossed up the wall again like once before but then it snickerd and motioned for him to take a seat._'Better take it, he's not getting any nicer'_ Ben ignored the thought as best as he could and carefully took a seat, looking over the legs and seat itself before sitting down.

"Still paranoid I see" Jacob remarked.

"Still calling me at the most inconveniant times I see" Ben answered coldly.

"Oh dear me, I didn't interrupt you and your father during some **father** and **son** time did I?". Ben was about to give him a mouthful for the insult when he was hit in the jaw with something that he didn't see. it had knocked him to the floor, in the next moment Jacob was hovering over him. Jacob reached down with only one arm and forcefully slammed him back into the chair, knocking the air out of him.

"Ben it may be suprising to hear but I didn't summon you to be an audience to your childish tantrums, understand?". Ben nodded grasping his face whatever hit him had stung". Good, I actually called you here to have a discussion about your grades".

"What" Ben asked in suprise, what did his grades have to do with anything? what did Jacob care if his average was eighty eight percent?

"You see Ben, your grades are too high" Jacob said leaning back in his own chair and seeming to relax.

"You want me to look stupid is that what your saying" Ben asked angrily despite the pain welling up in his face at the constant use of his aching jaw. All Ben had were his good grades before them he alway got these looks of pity from everyone, he hated that but they all knew what his father was like and couldn't help it. Then Ben joined honour role and the atmosphere just seemed to lighten around him, his grades were the only thing that seperated those two worlds.

"Yes" Jacob answered plainly "How succesfull do you think you are going to be in helping us if you spend every waking moment in a lab?" Ben was speechless, a lab?

"What do you mean?" Ben asked

"I mean they have you scheduled for an apprenticeship of sorts and you understand why we can't let that happen" Jacob said in a very solid tone that told Ben the right answer.

"Yes" Ben answered in a small defeated voice _'and you thought your dad was holding you back'_ and again he could hear the laughter that had become so unbearably mocking that he wanted nothing more than to rip it from his head.

"Ben I believe you have a permission form of sorts that you need your fathers signature for?" Jacob asked

"What does it matter to you"

"Not much but I would like to see it"

"Fine"

Ben reached into his backpack and pulled out the paper but had forgotten to pull his glasses out first and as a result they fell to the floor and the right lense cracked while the left shattered."Oh you rotten son of a-"

"Relax" Jacob said reaching down and picking up the glasses. For a moment they disappeared in the darkness that was Jacob's hand and then Jacob put them on the table in a condition that looked brand new. Ben set the paper down on the table and picked up his glasses to study them.

"Happy belated birthday, and..." Jacob put his outstretched hand on the permission form, removed his hand and wiped the ink like liquid off "Merry belated Christmas" Ben looked down at the paper and sure enough his fathers drunken signature was there, clear as day.

"Thankyou" Ben said, he may not have liked Jacob a lot but he still always used his manners no matter who it was.

"Your very welcome" Jacob answered "Follow the yellow brick road home and next time wipe your shoes before coming in or you will be sweeping".

"Yeah right" Ben muttered going out the door and shutting it behind him. He put the lantern on its regular holder, blew it out then looked down to see that the path that was just grey stone earlier had turned yellow. Ben would have laughed if he had been in a better mood but he wasn't so he instead rolled his eyes and tried to step over the spiral at the doorway. When he did this however, the road disappeared, he groaned and stepped back in front of the doorway and it appeared once more._'Maybe if you click your heels you can just teleport back home'_ "Shut up" Ben said and the voice was silent for the rest of his long tedious walk back.


	3. Fate's Funeral?

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or any of its characters (The characters Proffessor Marvel and Troy are OCC and never existed) The events that take place are purely fictional and are not to be confused with the actual Lost timeline.

It was almost a half hour after school and Ben was still there, which wasn't unusual because he often stayed behind to study or just to get ahead of everyone. What was strange about today though was that he was staying behind in the music room practicing the assigned tune that he had already mastered fifteen minutes ago. Maybe it had something to do with Annie, more likely though it had everything to do with Annie. He was getting that feeling again like he wanted to ask her something but just couldn't find words or reason. It was just so frustrating to feel like this all the time._'It wouldn't be frustrating if you would get it over with just say "hey Annie" then wing it from there'_ The voice suggested. It had only spoke twice all day, not that Ben was complaining, just now and when he had poured milk on his toast and buttered his glass at breakfast. He hadn't slept nearly as much as he should have last night but on the bright side his father had never came home. Before heading to school Ben could remember recieving a message on the answering machine saying that his father had worked all night and was sleeping in the 'Flame Station'. That suited him just fine and for once he took his time preparing for school. Looking back on his day Ben thought that breakfast had probably been the best part, which didn't say much about the rest of his day.

This had in fact been an especially hard day starting at breakfast, which was an absolute disaster so Ben had just cleaned it up and left without eating. He had arrived at school late and it just so happened to be the day they ran out of the late slips so Ben was sent to class without one. Then for the morning finale the first period teacher had locked the door on all late students and wouldn't let him in unless he waved a late slip in the window. Ben would have went to his locker and scribbled on a yellow piece of paper to bait the teacher to the door so he could explain. Problem was he had every colour of pen and not a scrap of yellow paper, without that all the pens in the world were no use. The only good thing was that Troy had apparently arrived early, that would be the only silver lining in his time during school. lunch arrived and Ben quietly munched away on the same lunch of a balogney sandwich and crumbly crackers he had almost every day then headed to next period which turned out to be the worst part.

As they walked in Ben noticed the seats were set in a test position, almost ironic that this would happen right after Jacob had decided to inform Ben of his new found duty to start plumeting. He sat at the desk and almost robotically started filling in the answers purposely lagging on detail. It was the easiest way to start slidding Ben thought, it would drop on the bonus points for sure but he would still be among the top five. he finished and leaned back arms crossed, exam turned over to signal he was finished. The teacher approached him asked if he was sure because there was still twenty minutes left, Ben nodded. The teacher picked up the paper and gave him a pleasent smile which he returned, they all expected great things from him. In time they would no doubt be very dissapointed, not nearly as dissapointed as Ben however, he would never know the great things he could have accomplished and it was something he knew would torment his mind for the rest of his life. Was what Jacob and the Hostiles promised really worth this sacrifice?

"Ben are you going to practice more or did you want to help me clean up?" Ben heard, emerging from his saddening thought. He blinked and looked for the voice and found it was Annie _'Who else Ben, really'_ the voice drawled, breaking its silence for the third time.

"Yeah I'm done" Ben answered quickly to keep from hearing what else it was saying. That's the way it worked if your busy it's really difficult to pay attention to your thoughts, for the majority of cases anyway. The clean up lasted less than five minutes and on the way out Annie picked up her backpack from beside the door. Ben had replaced his messenger bag on his shoulder the instant he stood from the stool, he never really let it out of his reach. He had learned a long time ago to keep all belongings within his reach, especially at school because left unguarded they could easily become a kickball. To Ben it was a weird feeling to hear two sets of footsteps echoeing out in the hallway, a welcome change though. Ben felt like he should say something though, just to lighten the mood and as they walked out the front doors the casual conversation starter came to mind.

"So I didn't see Troy today, maybe we got lucky and he was sick" Ben said knowing that statement would at least get a response he could add on to.

Annie suddenly stopped and looked him over as if trying to examine something.

"What is it ?" Ben asked, he didn't know what he'd said wrong.

"You really havn't heard have you"

"Heard about what?"

"Troy is leaving"

Ben would have normally smiled and replied "where's the party and who's invited?" but he felt there was much more to this than he was seeing.

"What happened?" Ben finally said cutting to the chase.

"His mother died Ben, no one knew until today but it happened five days ago she fell down the stairs and Troy's father had refused to believe that she was dead".

"I suppose that's why he was such a jerk on Monday" Ben sighed then added "I guess I really can't blame him from that point of view, I wouldn't stay home either why didn't his father just bring her to be checked on though instead of making it difficult?" Ben said more as statement than a question. It creeped him out to think of having a loved one be dead in the house for almost a week and another loved one to go loopy and believe that they were just unconscience, Ben could literally feel goosebumps forming on his skin from the thought alone.

He looked back to Annie and realised the tears building in her eyes, making them shine even more brightly. Ben couldn't explain it but seeing her hurt made him feel an almost physical pain. He couldn't think of anything to say or do to make it better though so he just remained silent and waited for her to speak again. Finally she seemed to be able to put her thoughts to words and took a deep breath to steady her voice.

"The funeral is tonight at six o'clock in case you want to show up, I don't know if i'm going or not yet". Annie said as she walked past him.

It felt very strange for Annie to leave without even smiling or saying goodbye but in this case Ben knew it was perfectly natural. He contiunued his short walk alone feeling upset at having lost her so quickly when he had actually wanted to spend the afternoon with her. He didn't put much thought into the planning so hours of thought hadn't been uselesly wasted, at least. Ben arrived home and saw his father sitting on the couch watching some comedian talk about cross walks, his father was laughing hysterically. Ben, using his common sense waited for a commercial to talk to his father. When the commercials started Ben stepped out of the kitchen then stood beside his father and waited to be acknowledged. Finally his father sighed and though his eyes didn't leave the t.v he started conversation with his son.

"What?" his father asked.

"I need to go out at six tonight, it's important" Ben answered.

"More important than studying?" his father asked, apparently he hadn't heard either.

"Much"

At this his father turned his head to look at him very seriously and the look asked the question 'what is more important than studying?'.

"There is a funeral, tonight one of my friends parents died I want to be there for her" Ben lied, he didn't know why it was so important for him to be at the funeral but at the moment it almost felt like it was the only thing in the world. There was something about this that just didn't feel right, didn't feel _natural_

"What friend?" his father asked skeptically, he was the only adult on this entire island, no, on the entire Earth that always thought Ben had some reason to lie.

"Isabel" Ben answered simply. he knew his father would find out later but that was later and this was now.

His father was about to ask more but then the commercials ended and his father just nodded and gestured with his hand for Ben to leave the room. He left and went to the kitchen to make himself a light supper, it was already five. His supper was ultimately just some toast with tomatoes and cheese, the toast was burnt so he drank two glasses of milk to wash it down. By twenty after he was in his room and trying on his only black suit, two years ago it was far too big and now it was still too big. The legs went down to the floor and it also needed a belt, the jacket fit him alright though so the most important part was passable. Ben quickly looped in a belt while walking into the washroom to find some safety pins for the legs. Five thirty arrived and by that point he was just tucking in his shirt and finding his tie. It turned out to be at the end of the rail that everything was hanging on but as Ben pulled it around his neck he realized that he didn't know how to tie it._'You could forget the tie and go as you are but you won't will you'_ the voice mumbled, credit had to be given for its learning ability he wasn't going without a tie that would be disrespectful as far as he was concerned. His father wasn't an option but he really didn't know who else to ask when the answer walked past his window just as he reopened it.

Outside he saw Horace he was walking past in a suit and tie much like his own, then again it was a funeral the point was to blend in. Ben slid his window open and contorted his way out then ran to catch Horace.

"Woah little man you can sure run" Horace commented turning slightly to see Ben just stop beside him.

"Horace I don't know how to tie this" Ben said quickly, normally he would call any adult mr. mrs. ms. or the formal title earned by their marital status but Mr. Goodspeed, more commonly known as Horace, quiet preffered Horace he said it sounded more friendly and you couldn't argue with that truth.

"Really? they're very easy once you get to know them, here lemme show ya" and Horace quickly got to work on showing Ben how to tie it right step by step and by the end it looked very well done and Ben was commiting the instructions to memory.

"So are you walking alone or is your father coming?" Horace asked

"I'm going alone my father is asleep and I didn't want to wake him, he works a lot and he didn't know them that well".

Horace just nodded in reply and Ben knew that he could see right through his lie, it was an admirable talent that he and Ben shared somewhat, though he always assumed that Horace was probably better. Unlike the rest of the locations on the island that anybody was free to enter the funeral home/church was far from the rest. Ben had read up that the tradition began in Medieval times with the plagues and dieseses. They would build the cemetary far from town so the living wouldn't have to worry about the dieses of the dead and naturally where a cemetary lays a church follows. So in following tradition they had to follow a spinning path up a hill to the little church that sat on top. That was something else Ben couldn't help but notice, churches were generally on top of hills. They're were many logical reasons for this that had to do with rain and construction of towns but Ben believed that it was mostly to do with being closer to God. Then he always thought of that story where people tried to build a tower to heaven called 'Babylon' well he thought that was it, this wasn't a story he was too sure of but the point Ben was thinking of was were God gave everyone different languages so they couldn't speak to eachother or communicate as punishment. So maybe the reason was one of the logical ones that had to do with rain or construction or maybe there was some other reason that a lot of churches were on hills that he just wasn't thinking of.

They entered and it was just as small as Ben remembered but just as beautiful. It wasn't necessary to have a large one on an island wih such a small amount of inhabitants but they spared no expense on the craftsmanship. The little building was all wood with multiple designs where permittable and the windows were in all the right places for the sunshine, not that you could tell at this hour. In any case Ben and Horace were early by about fifteen minutes, it wasn't out of character for either of them to be early but to be this early was a little uncalled for at a funeral. No one was there except for a mourning Troy who had pulled up a chair beside his mothers casket and a rather young looking minister. Horace looked over the scene, leaned over and asked Ben if he would like to speak with the minister or Troy. Before Ben knew what he was saying he had already answered that he would prefer to speak with Troy. Horace looked a little baffled, Ben had said to Horace on many occasions exactly what he thought of Troy, despite his confusion however Horace nodded and walked over to the minister to start conversation while Ben took a deep breath to prepare for speaking with Troy. He took seven steps forward and came up beside Troy then found that the words came much easier than he thought.

"I'm sorry for your loss" Ben started but felt that it was too empty to leave it at that and added "I'm fortunate to have never lost someone so close to me". Troy slowly looked up from his mother and met Ben's eyes with his own tearstained ones.

"Don't be modest Ben, you have lived your whole life without a mother I'm fortunate enough to have my memories" Troy answered rather evenly for his state. Ben couldn't think of a response, he had never thought of it that way. Ben had always comforted himself in thinking that because he never knew her she could be any type of person he imagined her to be, suddenly imagining her up a personality and history just seemed like a childish game that he should have ended years ago. Then, also thinking of what Troy said it actually hurt, she was one of the most important people in his entire life and he would **Never** know a single thing about her, the closest he would ever get were pictures that were tainted by the face of his father.

"Thank you for coming Ben" Troy said with a small smile then stood and held out his hand. Ben formally recieved it, they both nodded and with that Ben turned and headed out. Walking out into the fading sunlight Ben could only think that something wasn't right. It was like that feeling you get when you know your being watched even though the other person isn't in clear sight, for Ben however the reason wasn't in clear sight. As he reached the bottom he thought that maybe he should make a short visit to the only person he was certain of that knew the answer. Yeah, maybe that was just the right thing to do...

* * *

**Authors Note (And Excuses):** **Okay, well I know these things take on a life of their own but this is ridiculous, It was only supposed to be a trilogy. To anyone who was waiting well over a month for this to pop up I apologize, I should have had it done before the holidays but I'm bad for procrastinating. Also if you think it's weird, it is, lets just say the idea crawled into my head then slithered away before it reached frutation. If anyone is still reading I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I have no idea when the last one's coming out or where I'm going with this, to be continued.**


	4. Untimely Guess

Disclaimer: I do not Own Lost or any of its characters (The characters of Proffesor Marvel and Troy are OCC and never existed) the events that take place never occured and are purely fictional.

It was strange but Ben actually felt more comfortable walking around the jungle at night than he did during the day. Probably because he could remember where everything was within a certain radius of the Barracks and the Hostiles knew that he was the only other person to be wandering at night. The last attempt Dharma made at a nightime attack was something they never spoke of, the bodies were delivered back the next morning. The end result was Dharma went back to the drawing board and would never **Ever **attack the Hostiles again on there own ground in the dead of night. At least that assured him that night time travel back and forth was safe as long as he was careful with the fence and weary of cameras. Ben also took other precautions too make sure he lived through his visit each time. Like keeping low and hidden as best as he could knowing that the Hostiles were the type to shoot first and ask questions later, even if they were almost certain it was him.

"Tegrum sic nunc"? Ben heard from behind him, he froze for a moment then remembered something to say at a time like this that might help.

"Quid"? Ben asked.

Richard went on to say something else in Latin that Ben couldn't follow.

"I don't know Latin yet Richard" Ben said slightly annoyed then turned to see Richard and Tom along with the other group of people they were with last time.

"Funny, I just said that" Richard commented. A small chuckling came up from the little group at this comment."Okay but seriously Ben your getting sloppy, twice in a week? this better not become a habit".

"It won't" Ben promised "and aren't you a little close to the camp"? he added.

"Not really" if we don't do anything they generally don't do anything, unless you've heard otherwise lately" Richard commented.

"No but there's a first time for everything" Ben answered. There was a silence after that until Richard spoke again.

"So what exactly are you doing out here and all dressed up in a black suit?"

"I was just at a funeral"

"Well that explains the suit but what are you doing?"

Ben didn't know what to say, he didn't know if he could tell Richard or not, he might send him back to the Barracks and Ben didn't want that._'What can you possibly say that will sound convincing other than that?'_. Okay, there was also that, they were all looking at him and there expression were beginning to fade from patient to suspicious _'talk quick or they may even think your a traitor'._

"I'm just..." the words wouldn't come this wasn't like lying to anyone from the Barracks where there was a thousand reasons to be anywhere doing anything in any given place at any given time.

"What are you doing?" Richard asked again stepping closer, _'This isn't going to end well either way, just tell them now'_.

"Okay, okay" Ben said backing up as the Hostiles were circling in on him "I just wanted to talk to Jacob".

They all stopped, for a moment they all looked like they had recieved a sharp slap then they all averted their gaze to Richard who was still staring intently at Ben.

"I know your going to say-" Ben started.

"Good luck" Richard said, cutting him off and stepped aside "You can go and talk to him if you like I told you once and I'm not your father so I have no reason to repeat myself. Besides, experience is the best teacher".

The rest of the group couldn't help but to look at Richard the way a young child would stare when not getting punished for eating a snack right before supper even when they were caught red-handed. In a few seconds they all followed Richard's lead and cleared a small path for Ben so he could slip through. They were suddenly quite and had expressions of concern on their face, Richard had a knowing look that Ben could have sworn had a malicious hint to it. Not wanting to think too deeply on it he stepped out of the group and continued walking even though he knew that he had almost no chance of finding the cabin. Soon enough he couldn't even hear their whispers, at that point he started checking his mental map to make sure that he was in an area he was familiar with and not lost. Ben quickly discovered that he knew the area very well and was relieved but at the same time couldn't help feeling a little dissapointed. He never found Jacob's cabin when he knew where he was._'By all means keep walking around all night, then in the morning you can walk back to the Barracks all filthy and muddy and find that they had a search party out. All that for nothing and furthermore try talking yourself out of that one, smart ass'._ He wasn't giving in that easy, how often was Richard going to just let him stroll around looking and not drag him back to the Barracks? this was probably the one time and to hell if he was going to waste it. The next few hours were very uneventful and in time Ben tired greatly and sat down in the shadow of an enormous tree. The tree must have been hundreds of years old, the trunk was wide enough to fit almost ten grown men in it. Ben was careful to sit on one of the trees roots and not the soil, this was the only suit he had. A yawn came out of nowhere and his eyelids suddenly felt like they were ten pounds each."Just for a minute" Ben lied and instantly fell asleep.

He woke up and the first thing he noticed was that the sky was turning a dull purple colour, it was only an hour till dawn. Ben stumbled to his feet and walked straight for a short while, not really seeing where he was walking through his drooping eyelids and numerous yawns. Then when he turned right he finally saw the cabin although it had never looked like this before. Simply put the place looked condemned, the roof had collapsed near the back, there was no glass in the windows and the door was gone. Ben really didn't feel safe even to look at it in this state but he had wandered all night looking for this place and he didn't want to waste all that effort. It wasn't something he was willing to give up nor was it something he had the luxury of time to think out, so he immediatly chose what to do. He watched his feet going up the broken stone path that wound it's way to the cabin, in bits and pieces, while doing that he unfortunately forgot the stairs and tripped. This sent him face first into the cabin and in his half awake state he didn't catch himself and could already feel blood flowing through his teeth where he had bit his lip falling. Ben carefully picked himself up while wiping the blood away on the back of his hand as if it were nothing, he refused to be caught of guard or look weak in front of Jacob.

"I don't recall inviting you Ben" Jacob stated as he walked down the staircase that Ben didn't even know existed.

Ben drew himself up to his full height and drew in a deep silent breath to keep relaxed. He wasn't nearly as scared as he thought he would be but was more curious to see how Jacob would react to see him here uninvited and with some very important questions.

"If your going to strut in here like you own the place at least have the respect to tell me what you have risked your well being for" Jacob ordered in a very powerful voice that Ben hadn't heard in a long time.

"I wanted to ask you something very important, and I know that you know the answer" Ben answered in a slightly wavering voice just as Jacob was sitting down.

"What?!" Jacob demanded standing at once and taking slow measured steps to where Ben was standing."Do you think you can come in here, to my house, and ask me whatever's on your mind about some ridiculous deaths and I will obediantly answer like some trained dog?"

Suddenly Ben was thinking of Annie, would he ever see here again? _'No I think that he's just a little too pissed off to let you skip out of here now'_ the voice answered in an instant_.'Ben you may have forgotten but this place doesn't have a door at the moment, I suggest you run'._ Ben didn't run but he did back up slightly, if only to be in the light.

"I don't recall saying anything about death" Ben said suddenly feeling a little better, this was probably a first that Jacob had ever tripped over his own words.

"I could tell you were thinking it by the look on your face" Jacob answered defensively.

"You don't think I can't tell when I'm being lied to" Ben answered smiling despite himself. Jacob wove around the remainder of the table to stand directly in front of Ben.

"You watch yourself, don't think for even a second that your inexpendable" Jacob snarled.

A thought came to Ben that he had never even considered before, maybe he **Was** inexpendable. If not then why all the tests and the constant secret messages. Then there was the whole other matter of being the **Only** one to see or even hear Jacob. Suddenly he wanted to see just how upset he could make him.

"Prove it" Ben said almost laughing. Jacob replied with a quick and sharp slap to the side of the head wich made Ben tumble to one knee. He blinked away the pain and smiled making his face sting, he was right.

"I'm not dead yet" Ben continued. This time Jacob didn't hold back, after lifting his head to watch Ben could see the shadowed figure ball what he assumed to be a hand into a fist. For a moment Ben had second thoughts, then he felt a sudden jolt through his entire head and hit the floor as the world went fuzzy. _This is going to be a fun story to fabricate_ he thought, then slipped unconscience.

* * *

It hadn't hurt his form in the least to smack the insolent little brat that hard, he hadn't felt anything physical in decades maybe even a century or two, he couldn't remember anymore. Jacob knew he was older than Richard at least but that really didn't tell him much when he couldn't even remember how old Richard was. He looked down at the unconscience Benjamin and considered things. Unfortunately for him the little display had done an amazing amount of damage to all the control he ever had over this kid or ever hoped of having, the damage was beyond repair. It also didn't help to think that the brat was willing to risk his life just to see if he'd lose it so that was proof enough he was willing to try anything.

"You can come down now" Jacob called up to his visitor who lately turned out to be a little more idiotic than he originally thought.

"I never thought Ben would actually coax someone to punch him in the head" the visitor replied.

"It was a test and to say the least he accomplished something, not what he wanted to know however". Jacob answered as his visitor came up beside him.

"What did he want to know?"

"Why some other boys mother died of very suspicious and unnatural causes".

There was silence, Jacob didn't have any desire to continue conversation with this sorry replacement that somehow was incapable of such an easy task as getting off the island. At least this fool would be good for something because he had one quality the young boy laying unconscience on the floor could never posses, a willingness to die without question for the island. True, Ben would probably die for it but not without endlessly trying every other option no matter how small or elaborate to no end.

"So why did he die?"

Jacob sighed, "Because I couldn't have the competition, both passed the leadership test along with someone else but the problem is that Ben was by far the more worthy and useful of the two so I used my best means of making the other dissapear. When should you be going?" Jacob questioned kneeling down beside Ben.

"I don't know, we arn't too clear on that"

Jacob brushed some of the hair away from Ben's face, he was due for another haircut. Looking close at his face he could see a smile on his face, oh yes, Ben knew now that he couldn't do anything more than harm him. This deeply bothered Jacob this child was very unique, how many people could be the very worst thing in the world to you just by knowing you? The more he knew the worse he'd be and he already knew too much at fifteen. For the first time in what may have been a century Jacob felt a fear that he had forgotten long ago.

"Do you know of any other way to make Richard believe what I say?"

Drawing himself up Jacob answered "No, and frankly it isn't my job you should have kept the damn compass if you actually wanted to live through this time switch. I lost Ben for **You** and **You** couldn't find your way out of a brick shithouse with a map". Jacob cursed, he never noticed how very upset he was until he said this man's mistakes outloud to actually hear how ridiculous this whole situation was.

"Well it isn't like this job comes with a training manual, I'm just doing my best with what I have" the man answered in defense.

Jacob smiled _I won't have to deal with him for very long at least_ he thought to himself.

"What's so funny"

"You are" Jacob answered turning his head to look at John Locke directly "The way you think you were picked because you were special when it's exactly the opposite".

John's expression went from confused to stunned as he realised what was happening.

"You never passed the test John, I only left you in charge because I knew it was a suicide mission and Ben just so happens to be much more resourceful and useful than you could ever be in **Ten** of your lifetimes. That and he passed the test where you failed".

John was speechless

"Besides, it's a pain in the ass to train a new leader, especially one at your age".

* * *

**Authors Notes: Okay I am doing a lot of spell check later, mark my words, it will happen. Plus I know some basic Latin but I did use the Latin translator and took very educated guesses the phrase Richard said was "Back So Soon?" just in case anyone is wondering and Ben said "What". So work on 'Whatever It Takes' should continue soon, I can't believe it's been a year and I plan to do two Valentine's day stories, though I'm only going to promise that Chapter 12 of 'Whatever It Takes' will ever exist.**


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